You’re so fucking weird. I don’t talk to you consistently for like a year and then all of the sudden you start talking to me and stuf and what the fuck u like me a lot all of the sudden? I don’t even understand. You make me so uncomfortable with your affection like you’re completely fine in person but idk what happens when you text cause you say fucking cheesy creepy shit like I can’t stop thinking about u or like I like you too much I can’t sleep WHAT THE FUCK I seriously haven’t even talked to you in a while where did these feelings come from. Too fast too quick too sudden. Just stop and like let me fuckin think about everything that has happened over these last couple of days

Seriously what the fuck. I hate u kl you’re so ducking annoying no one gives a fuck if someone tagged you in his damn picture of someone else no one cares especially me and you’re so fucking vague in answering my questions about what u said to JT like what the hell. I’m not gonna fucking tell u anything anymore cause you never tell me everything and its so fucking annoying how you always buddy up with a guy I like or who likes me and you get every fucking detail from him and then you ask me and like what is th fucking point of all this. Why did you ask if you already knew. That’s what pisses me off about u. Why the fuck do you keep saying ur fucked u have an easy schedule and everything and u had the answers to the fucking test an u didn’t even utilize them. Don’t complain to me about how you don’t understand a class if you go out and ditch or chill in other classrooms when you could be actually learning the material. God

Favorite moments post for guys
AT- already said it
JT- my favorite moment with you was when we went to do something..I forgot what it was. I think it was a beach clean up. And then we went to a movie afterwards and everyone was exhausted and I was like cuddled up in my chair and you sitting lazily in yours and you said that I could sleep on you. Idk after that I got untired LOl. I pretended to sleep but I couldn’t cause I was too nervous. Later you asked me if I really fell asleep and I admitted that I only did once.
-when you went to Las Vegas with Calvin and his brother and his brothers friends. That was the first time we talked on the phone haha. Even though I spent like half the time talking to Christian and Calvin cause it was like pass the phone around. “Where’s your house well fly there” “goodnight Lauren…goodnight Lauren” OMG hahaha I couldn’t tell the difference between your voice and Calvin’s and then someone told me I couldn’t hang up until I figured it out. Calvin is really hot hahaha 10/10 would bang. Jk he seems really nice too. That one time he——
-Calvin - that one time we talked on the phone for literally an hour straight about whatever. I know you do drugs but I mean it’s your decision I hope you just don’t regret it later. You’re buff and hot and we talked through Facebook when you freaking kept bumping my pictures esp the ugly face ones -__- but you’re really sweet. I heard that Carrie ditched you at homecoming that one year and I’m sorry :/
-JC- fav memory is when we were at honey boba and I forgot what we were doing but I remember you grabbed my hand for some reason and I saw that you’re in the habit of biting your nails too. It’s hard cause I try to stop but I get nervous and I just like cant.
-AL all the times you gave me rides home. Seriously like if I didn’t feel like taking the transit I could just hop into your car and ask for a ride. You remembered where I lived and you even met my dog roxy. I remember one time I needed a ride home but I didn’t call the transit. I ran out of elite and asked someone if you left yet and you were pulling out of your spot and I literally jumped I front of the car and asked for a ride. You were completely chill about it. I miss that comfort. I also remember our pick up line contest. Idk it was cheesy and cute even tho they got kind of dirty. I feel like those kinds of things are so you though. Remember the spicy spam musubi challenge? Ok weird but that’s the first time I shared a drink with you. We got that close haha. Over one summerrr how was I so lucky. I miss you andyyyyyy
RLM- multiage together was the best. I remember you had a crush on me and I had one on you and garret “forced” you to tell me that you liked me? I will always remember that. You were adorable and dorky and you still are. I wish we talked more or even talked. Sky zone was pretty fun though we didn’t talk.
CC- ah mr. Craig. Tapioca express when you came up to Justin c and asked if he had a light LOL. I don’t know why but I find you so cute. That one time you hugged me in class..pretty sure you might’ve been on drugs or something (even tho it was 8 am). You told me to wear my sunglasses when I drive, and I gave you a tissue from my car. You ask me the homework and we walked to class from south lot that one time. You asked me if high waisted shorts were Comfy or weird cause its up in your crotch and idk I told you that they’re pretty comfy and that you should try some..completely forgetting that you have a dick and that you’re a boy. You came up to my window to say hi and I told you you had an eyelash on your eyeball an it looked like you were gonna hop into the car an use my mirror, but sadly you didn’t. I think I like bad guys cause you do drugs and drink and you’re so fucking perverted and I think you’re so hot. God help me.

Weight

Weight is such a touchy issue nowadays. Does it really matter how much you weigh? If you are happy, you’re happy and you should relish in that. Delight in the fact that you indeed have reached a state of happiness-doesn’t matter the extent. I think people put too much emphasis on that. It’s extremely unhealthy to be very underweight, and it’s just the same to be in the obese category. But what people do with their weight and how they carry themselves is not anyone’s decision but theirs. There is no reason to judge people for it; it’s outright rude and uncalled for. Everyone has to think: if I were him/her, would I really want to be called an anorexic freak? Or a “whale” or any other names? The answer is no. So if you don’t want to be labeled by your weight, don’t do it to others.

Ugh. When’s the last time I’ve been on this tumblr…too long ago. Forgot my password LOL.

So what has happened in the last year? Let me reflect.
-NI - super nice guy, funny, skinny muscular, idk I feel like I’d squash him
-BL - my favorite. I could actually see something happening between the two of us cause he’s actually really adorable. The way he gets all nervous when he talks to me and repeats the same questions that he asked just the other day. The way he asks me what I’m thinking and how he never gets an answer. The way he walks cause he messed up his knees playing volleyball, the way his hands shake cause of the surgery he got on his hand. Then to have like that whole opportunity messed up by other people meddling (KL) and being buddy buddy with him, hanging out at the mall and stuff. Idk I just never let things happen to me. Maybe it’s cause I’m afraid people will judge me for who I like or because I’m worried that the guy I like will end up talking to one of my best friends more than me…which has happened with JT and AT 😩.
-TR- ah. He is so arrogant and not my type I want to be friends with him though cause he seems like a nice guy under the whole “cool guy” facade he has goin on—which might I add isn’t working out too well.
-JC- I’ve seriously been such a bitch. Like I don’t even know if I’m leading him on cause it doesn’t feel like it. I want to be close friends ya know like ones that can tell each other whatever and be cool with it. But I kind of feel like he wants to be more. I don’t want him to get attached to me cause like he has had a hard life and I wouldn’t want to make it any harder if I were to make him sad or upset. I rejected his wf asking..which was through a text laaame :( but anyway I rejected it and things haven’t been the same.

Regrets

What do I regret the most? Not taking pictures, not creating tangible photographs that I could look back on. Look back to see what we had and how we liked each other. People ask if we ever did anything. No, wedidn’t. I REGRET THAT. I know we had feelings for each other and I know that we should have focused more on each other, but summer just wasn’t our time. Maybe it was the right person, and the wrong time; or maybe both the timing and person was wrong.

you ignorant little shit

you can’t just go around, dissing schools like USC or UCSB. You’ll be fucking lucky if you get into Riverside or a Cal State. So don’t you dare go bagging on schools I hope and want to go to. 

Fuckin’ 4nDy man i miss you. Text me/call me/hmu cause i wanna hang out with you